When an author’s spy novels threaten to expose a real-life espionage organization, she begins a globetrotting race to save her life and untangle her imagination and reality. A film by Matthew Vaughn, starring Henry Cavill, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, Dua Lipa, Sofia Boutella, Ariana DeBose, John Cena, and Samuel L. Jackson.

The film opens with a scene where secret agent Argylle (Henry Cavill) encounters a mysterious beauty known as LaGrange (Dua Lipa). During her escape, LaGrange, who has been tipped off about Argylle’s arrival, opens fire, but misses. Tragically, Argylle’s tech wiz companion Keira (Ariana DeBose), takes a fatal bullet. LaGrange flees the scene on a motorbike, only to be captured by Argylle’s muscle Wyatt (John Cena). In a shocking twist, Argylle and Wyatt discover they and LaGrange work for the same employer, Director Fowler (Richard E. Grant). LaGrange commits suicide using the poison hidden in her diamond shaped locket (made by Rosie Kent).

The next scene reveals that the previous scene is actually the last chapter of a popular spy novel, “Argylle: Book 4”. The author of the novel, Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard), appears at her book launch at a bookstore in Colorado for a reading and to answer fans’ questions. A fan claims that Elly’s books were read by real spies, and her stories even predicted real-life geopolitical events. The fan then asks if Elly was an actual spy, mentioning famous spy novelists like Fleming, Forsyth, and le Carré who turned out to be real spies.

Elly deflects romantic relationships, even resorting to lying about having a date to avoid going out with a fan. In reality, she simply prefers solitude with her beloved cat, Alfie. After the book launch event, Elly returns to her lakeside home to work on the final chapter of her next book, “Argylle: Book 5.” Finishing the ending, she sends it via email to her mother Ruth (Catherine O’Hara).

The next morning, her mother FaceTimes Elly to express her love for the book. However, she raises concerns about the ending’s satisfaction, worried readers might be disappointed with a cliffhanger. They’d crave answers – does Argylle obtain the Master File containing the directorate’s dark secrets? Ruth, ever supportive, offers to fly in and brainstorm better ideas.

Despite her efforts, Elly struggles to fix the ending and falls victim to writer’s block. Deciding to surprise her mother, Elly boards a train with Alfie for a visit. On the train, a male stranger approaches, drawn to her cat. Seeing the man holding her book, Elly instinctively uses a book she’s reading to shield her face, fearing recognition. Eventually, the man realizes Elly is the author behind the book he just finished. He reveals himself as a fan of her novel and claims to work in espionage. Initially skeptical, Elly experiences strange hallucinations that blur the lines between the stranger – a supposed spy – and her fictional character, Argylle. This mysterious man then ends up saving Elly from an ambush orchestrated by a devious organization.

Elly blacks out during their dramatic escape from the train. When she awakens in a secluded cabin, the clean-shaven man introduces himself as Aidan Wilde (Sam Rockwell). He reveals a real-time camera feed showing a group of men led by Carlos (Tomás Paredes), whom Elly recognized from her book launch and the train, searching her house. Aidan explains these men work for the Division, a real-life version of the bad guys in her book.

The Devision’s leader, Director Ritter (Bryan Cranston), believes her books somehow can predict their future. This is why he attempted to capture her. In her Book 5 manuscript, she mentions agent Argylle traveling to London to retrieve the Master File. Aiden proposes that she help him find the Master File and bring down the Division, who will stop at nothing to obtain it. The problem? Elly has no idea where the Master File is located.

Despite a stellar cast (minus Henry Cavill’s unfortunate haircut), particularly Dua Lipa who channels a captivating Bond girl vibe, the film suffers from pacing issues. Directed by Matthew Vaughn, ARGYLLE struggles with a confusing script written by Jason Fuchs. While Jason Fuchs probably isn’t a bad writer, I can’t recall enjoying any of his previous films.

Clocking in at over two hours, ARGYLLE is filled with a few memorable scenes, but the excessive plot twists become nonsensical, detracting from the film’s potential as a great spy parody. The humor falls flat, and the more you watch, the more absurd the film becomes. It’s disappointing because the film’s premise had the potential to be another hilarious spy spoof.

ARGYLLE premiered at Odeon Luxe Leicester Square in London on 24 January 2024. The film was theatrically released in the United Kingdom and the United States on 2 February.

How is it possible that ARGYLLE spent twice KINGSMAN: The Secret Service’s budget, only to deliver an underwhelmed result? ARGYLLE has grossed less than $100 million for its worldwide theatrical release, against its $200 million production budget.